I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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