so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
there is puke in my bra ... again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize