whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
