he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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