Your face is a jimmy john
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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