i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
