oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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