Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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