Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
