Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize