Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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