5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
