i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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