I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
