Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am spending my child support on dildos
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i believe in u and ur pee
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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