A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
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drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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