OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
