I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
