Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
