ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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