note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
