Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
