Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
