we have officially lost it.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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