i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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