these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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