Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wakey wakey hands off snakey
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
