Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
