Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's blow job season.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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