For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
