I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
These tits shall not be calmed
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
