so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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