Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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