The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize