Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
