I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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