Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
