what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
