I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
