Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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