If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
