You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
