the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
