what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
