She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sext me about skeletons
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
