i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
