when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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