Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The adults are the big ones right?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
