The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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