Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
