She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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