I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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