Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
