Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
