That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
