I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So. Much. Porn.
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