I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
