Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
