She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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