I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize