Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
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I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
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After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
My vagina is very pro this idea
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